I know it is kinda random, and I dont get on often unless I have something to say. But I do believe this is important because I have been thinking this for a while now. I know that once my friends and family read this they will be very curious as to what goes on inside of my mind.
First I would like to say. I love my Religion, My Family, and My Friends. But within my religion I do not appreciate those who slander Muslims, and make Islam look bad. And within my family, I do not appreciate the people constantly searching for me to mess up so that they forever have a story about the time I slipped up. And within my friends, I do not appreciate those who are constantly waiting for me to slip up and say the wrong thing, simply for their own entertainment. It is so painful from day to day not knowing who to trust, or when to talk about my feelings. I have this blog in order to speak without an interuption. I get so tired of people asking for me to tell them my feelings and be honest but once I do that, they shut my down.
I notice this behavior often in women. I do not know whether it is because I choose to speak my honest opinion, or whether I choose to be happy. Whatever it is, people dislike it, and they try to shut me down. In the beginning of this blog, I stated that I do not appreciate people who slander Muslims and make the religion look bad. And what I mean by that is the crude behavior such as waiting for someone to mess up and think of way to break them down. Islam is a religion of peace and balance, but if we have people who misrepresent it to a world that wants us to die, then how can we spread the word of beauty? As I mentioned my family. I should be able to come to my family is love and the feeling of support. Instead I often feel like I have to sugarcode things simply to protect their feelings. But would they do the same for me? I feel like this is one of the problems in this world. People do not know how to care and trust and listen to those who truly do care for them. As for friends. I would always hope that I keep decent people around. But I would say a decent person is not someone who pressures me to do something after I repeatedly said I do not want to do it. Or then attempt to make me feel bad for not wanting to do that bad thing.
Lately I've also been thinking...
I am an ambitious person who has many dreams of becoming a mother, a chef, a business woman, a wife, but most of all someone who devoutly serves Allah(God). I strive each day to make these things become a reality. Even if this means one day or two I sit and do nothing but think. I want to be a GOOD Mother, I want to be a good Wife. I pray everyday That Allah gives me true faith. And while I strive for these things, I somehow feel like it is getting harder and harder to achieve... But at the same time, I have never been at so much peace in my entire time living... I dont know what to think.